A HUMOROUS TRACK ON THE ROME'S CONQUEST BY IS' ISLAMISTS: The Iraqi terrorists' Sheick shouting "we will conquer Rome"? Here's what would happen:

The IS's army did chose a wrong time to conquer Rome. At half pas height am, they were bottled on the GRA, the Great Ring Highway, height the Settebagni Town. They didn't know, the grim Allah's guerrillas, that at that time 'peopples goes to work'.
Among freaked out cursing, stereo to two thousand percent, motorcycles and scooters swarming among, here and there - one with Kawasaki Enduro passed onto the armored vehicle's roof - and ambulances stuck on the emergency lane by the SUV of some "whoreson" who had 'tried it' and now was quarreling with the ambulance porters, the bearded Islamic executioners didn't know how to get on and how to impose the Quran car to car, since between one and the other car there passed not even a sole vertically. Some of them fired in the air, intimidating to get ahead. They was answered by a gunshots' volley from a bus of Stadium Southern Curve's fans, who thought that the IS guerrillas were struggle's comrades, and waved out the banner with "There's only one captain", immediately punctured by gunshots by two or three machines of the Lazio's team.
For those who don't know it, the two main soccer teams in Rome belong to the Latio's sports association, and their main opposers are fans of Rome's sports association, who sit in the Stadium Southern Curve's stands

Six armored vehicles immediately disappeared into a chasm on the Prenestina way's asphalt."Damn Marino" - the city mayor - "just yesterday' did disappear in it a nuns' van and he's going to change the water in his fish bowl" commented Mr. Quintus from within his newspapers' kiosk..
Eight other tanks left their cingulates into the sinkholes which on the Casilina way cracked cars' suspensions to residents and not; due to the shocks a bearded man who was driving without a belt lost his front teeth ("Hey! Fidelcastro, make a civil action against the Municipality, maybe some money will come to your grandchildren!" they yelled from a bar).
A little bit shocked, the conquerors from the Levant decided to stop the column and take stock, so to elaborate an attack's strategy.
Stopping a column. In Rome. Where there's parking nor for a scooter? Swarms of traffic auxiliaries with yellow band emerged from manholes also, blood's and fines's thirsty.
The feline speed with which they slipped complaints under the armored cars' windscreens, and even onto three tanks, with invitation to appear within five days in the Municipal offices, penalty the means' seizure, sent freaking out the Allah militia ("Poor people, they are not used to," said the people around), who decided to kill all the traffic auxiliaries, giving up soon after, because they were too many, and even if passers were offering to help, they couldn't waste all those ammunitions.

After havingleft another substantial number of vehicles and people into a chasm in Portonaccio, used by the Romans to make free-climbing, the IS Army finally came to the Tiber.
That is, almost, because there was a demonstration. Indeed, 'demonstrazzions' by Unions, Gay's rights and Invisibles' Righs, that it was not clear if there was talks of the Third World or of Science, but the result was the same, to get the City center you had to go to Ostia Lido (Rome's beaches).
A thick barrier of fences, even on the river's water, has some citizen never tried to rub the police with the boat, did stop again the Islamic column, whose members had to get angry to stop the Romanians who wanted to wash their windshield and rubbing howitzers, were pickpocketed by Rom Gipsies, eachone with aside his social reintegration assistant, they had to take pictures with the centurions with the wristwatch, otherwise they had cut tires, and were forced to give red roses to the crew-mate otherwise that fucking indian would not more go away.
Someone did purloin their tires while they where arguing with those of Equitalia (tax agency) that enjoined the payment of penalties for violation of restricted traffic areas, bang! which whack! "This is the Hell as described by the Prophet! But Worse!", Al-Baghdadi said ordering the retreat. But they did chose the wrong time to get out of Rome. They did not know, the guerrillas of Allah, which at that time, there's "the re-enter"

After eleven hours without a meter, thirsty, hungry, someone dying, at last  they understood why the Italian army had left them get there.